"What are you gonna do? Accidentally bean a friend of mine with a log and then feel powerfully guilty about it??"

Things Michael Earnshaw Got At ASE 1 Commencement, Not That I Mean to Brag While Making It Sound Less Like Bragging By Using the Third Person Or Anything, But If You're Interested In Me, You Might Want to Know

• Ontario Secondary School Diploma (certificate, with red rose and pen)
• Ontario Scholar (certificate and medal for 80% or better in six Grade 12 courses)
• Award of Excellence (medal for 90% average in a year or semester at ASE 1, with red rose)
• Spirit of ASE Award for Inspiration (certificate, with red rose; apparently I'm very inspiring academically?)
• Academic Excellence Award (certificate for the top two [?--maybe it was only two this year] academic averages [mine being the top at 96.2%, although I just barely made it with a .2% difference], with red rose and $500 dollar cheque)
• Various praises and congratulations

So anyway, congratulations to Mark Conmigo and Jay Dulall for graduating; Corey for graduating and being an Ontario Scholar; Darrell Rubio for being an Ontario Scholar and gaining the Award of Excellence (even though the bastard wasn't there); Emily for graduating, being an Ontario Scholar, making the Honour Roll, winning the Grade 12 English and Drama awards, and being awarded the Spirit of ASE Award for Inspiration; and Michelle, for graduating, being an Ontario Scholar, gaining the Award of Excellence, and being my co-Academic Excellence Award Winner with a 96.0% average.

WE DID IT!

Apparently Emily, Michelle, and I ran ASE 1 like Nadal runs clay.

***

On the theme of accomplishment: a few weeks ago my father asked me how many books I read on average in a given period of time. So here, inspired by that question and by Michelle's list of the books she read in 2005, is a list of books I read in June:

Books Michael Earnshaw Read In June 2006

• Susan Orlean - The Orchid Thief
• Robertson Davies - Tempest-Tost
• W.P. Kinsella - The Iowa Baseball Confederacy
• Michael Chabon - Wonder Boys
• Dave Eggers (editor) - The Better of McSweeney's, Volume 1
• Michael Chabon - The Final Solution
• Michael Chabon - The Mysteries of Pittsburgh
• Jack Kerouac - On the Road

Apparently I read quite a lot. I read The Final Solution in two sessions through a span of about 12 hours; although in the interest of full disclosure I should mention that it's a 140 page (or so) novella.

Anyway.

Good times!

"Yeah, I said it! Apple for a brain, motherfucker! That's right!"

Here's a post without much purpose.

Some Things I'm Doing Right Now

• Reading Kerouac
• Reading Chabon
• Reading about Walter Payton
• Reading about Gauguin and Tahiti preparatory to writing a story about a young man trying to find his perfect geographical place in the world, which could turn out to be a sort of globe-trotting search for purpose, but that might require me to travel, in which case its production would certainly have to be postponed
• Writing a pseudosonnet about the absence of a lover
• Writing a story, in the Eggersian mode, about a boy who pays particular attention to mirrors
• Planning a poem about shoulders, perhaps based upon their asexual appeal
• Planning a poem based on the phrase "To a Tobacconist's Indian," perhaps a sort of self-aware 'metapoem' about the construction of a poem based upon a single esoteric phrase
• Worrying about my social development
• Worrying about tomorrow's ASE 1 Commencement Dinner

On the plus side, I went to 2 of 3 Mets/Blue Jays games and saw David Wright hit a 3-run home run.

Oh,
and also,
I got my residence offer from York,
and it is a single room,
which is a good thing for me.